Annika's Anguish
by Raven12
Summary: This story is set several months after Voyager’s return to Earth. Chakotay and Seven have remained in Starfleet as instructors and have continued their relationship.


Category: Star Trek Voyager - C/7  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Disclaimer: Star Trek: Voyager and all things contained therein are the property of Paramount and Viacom. I will receive no profit from this story.   
  
Author: Raven  
  
Background:This story is set several months after Voyager's return to Earth. Chakotay and Seven have remained in Starfleet as instructors and have continued their relationship.   
  
Author's Note: This story contains descriptions of graphic images of a disturbing nature.   
Title: Annika's Anguish  
  
***  
  
"A-n-n-i-k-a!"... "A-n-n-i-k-a!" The screams of a familiar masculine voice echo as pandemonium takes over.   
  
A young girl runs frantically down a hall trying desperately to reach the voice calling to her.   
  
"Papa? Where are you?"  
  
There's no response.   
  
A big man takes hold of the small fragile child with golden locks. They rematerialize into a cold and dark environment where the sounds of screaming individuals are heard in the distant.   
  
The girl is released from the big man's grip. She runs as fast as she could unaware of where to go. Pursued by several big men, the small form hides under a console only to be found by another type of being, a female of some sort.   
  
"And where do you think you're going?" Asks the smirking advanced form.   
  
"I want papa? Where's mama?" Responds the frightened child.  
  
"Don't be afraid little one, you'll be with them soon. I promise. What's your name?"   
  
"Annika...who are you?"   
  
"I'm the Borg...my designation is...(smiling) Queen. Don't be frightened...you will not feel any pain."  
  
Crying, the girl pleads, "I want my papa!"   
  
"All right. Come with me...I'll take you to him."   
  
The Queen extends her arm to the little girl who accepts her hand. They walk together as they enter a room where an assimilation is taking place. The little girl is horrified when she sees the dismantled form on the table is her father. She runs to his side, wraps her arms around his neck and begins to wail.   
  
(Smiling) "You see...I told you I would take you to your..."papa"...and now its time for you to join us. Take her!"   
  
The smirking Queen backs off as two mechanical beings take hold of the young child who is stripped of her clothing. Kicking and screaming, she's forced into a chamber filled with fluid. Immediately several tubules and sharp machinery appear from all sides of the confined container and attack the young blonde on all fronts. Within minutes the struggling girl weakens and loses consciousness.   
  
***  
  
"Regeneration cycle complete" announces the computer.   
  
In her apartment on Earth, Seven of Nine's eyes open as she takes a step off the platform of her alcove.   
  
She feels disturbed but doesn't know why.   
  
She's fearful, but doesn't have any reason.   
  
Her respiration and pulse rates are elevated but there's no explanation.   
  
Just as she's about to engage in her daily routine, an image of a young screaming girl floods her mind. Startled by the memory, she leaves the cargo bay and heads out to meet an old friend.   
  
***  
  
"It's called Delayed Stress Syndrome." Explains the Doctor who's now a commissioned Chief Medical Officer at Starfleet Medical.   
  
"I don't understand, what does it mean?"   
  
Just as Voyager's former EMH is about to explain the phenomena, Chakotay enters and takes hold of the ex-drone's human hand.   
  
"I came as soon as I heard. Are you all right?"  
  
"How did you know I was here?"   
  
"When you didn't show up at work, I figured something was wrong. You're never late. Like the Borg would say, it is an "inefficient waste of time" to be tardy."  
  
Seven smirks at Chakotay's lighthearted remark.   
  
The Doctor continues...  
  
"Well unfortunately your former family are involved with your present condition."   
  
"Explain".   
  
"As I was beginning to explain before your savior entered, you may be experiencing flashbacks of your assimilation."   
  
"But Doctor, we've already covered this when I was first liberated by Captain Janeway. Why is this happening again?"  
  
"This time is different. If my memory data-banks are correct, the last time this happened was due to a proximity beacon back in the Delta Quadrant."  
  
"Yes, I remember. The beacon lured me back to the Hanson's vessel...The Raven. But you were able to neutralize the effects on my implants. Can you repair me again?"  
  
"Seven, there is no beacon this time. What's happening to you is perfectly natural."   
  
Getting angry, Seven moves away from the Doctor and Chakotay   
  
"Natural? This is unacceptable! These images must be repressed!"   
  
"But Seven, that's not possible. You're just going to have to cope with these memories like every other human being."  
  
"I cannot."   
  
"When you agreed to the operation you knew there was a possibility this might happen. I'm sorry Seven, but there's nothing wrong with you."   
  
"Hold on a second...what kind of operation are we talking about?"  
  
"You didn't tell him?"  
  
Seven looks away.   
  
Feeling a bit deceived, Voyager's former First Officer lashes out?   
  
"Tell me what? What's going on here?"  
  
"It's a long story, I'll tell you later." Seven responds.  
  
"Forget later...tell me now!"  
  
Trying to calm her mate down, Seven approaches Chakotay and places her hand on the collar of his gray Starfleet tunic.   
  
"Please Chakotay, I did it for us. I'll explain later...I promise."   
  
"All right. I'll let this go for now. But tonight, I want to know everything. No secrets."   
  
On that note Chakotay reaches forward and gives Seven a small kiss on the lips. The Doctor turns away to give them some privacy. As Chakotay leaves the office, the Doctor approaches his patient.   
  
"So, why haven't you told him?"   
  
"Because I don't want him thinking of me as less than human."   
  
"But you're not Seven. It's quite obvious the Commander has feelings for you. I'm sure when he knows what you went through for him he will appreciate you more than ever. I would."   
  
Seven looks at the Doctor at his candid remark knowing that her former mentor may still have romantic feelings for her.   
  
"Thank you Doctor for everything you've done for me. I must report to work."   
  
"My pleasure Seven. I'm always here for you, medically and emotionally. You'll always be my star pupil and closest friend. (pausing) I was just wondering, now that your neural circuitry allows emotions, have you and the Commander experienced intimacy?"   
  
Seven acknowledges the Doctor's inquiry with a smile then exits the office.   
  
"You can't blame a hologram for asking."   
  
***  
  
Later that evening...  
  
"All right Seven...I've been going nuts all day. Tell me about this operation."   
  
Seven motions for them to sit on his couch.   
  
"This isn't easy for me, but I'll tell you as much as I can. You'll probably want to end our affiliation once you've heard the truth about me."   
  
"Why don't you let me be the judge of that."  
  
The former drone takes a deep breath and starts her explanation.   
  
"Back on Voyager, the Doctor encouraged me to seek out relationships with the crew. As Lieutenant Torres often reminded me, I sometimes came across as being rude or misunderstood. In order to minimize any misconceptions I began to conduct holodeck simulations."   
  
"What kind of simulations?"  
  
"Social gatherings, friendships and...(hesitating) intimate relations."   
  
Getting defensive, Chakotay interrupts.   
  
"Intimacy!" I bet the Doctor was eager to help."  
  
Flushing, Seven continues.   
  
"Actually...no. It wasn't that way at all. As a matter of fact, you were the one or rather a holographic version of you helped me."   
  
"Me? I'm not sure if I should be jealous or not."   
  
"Well don't be...there's no comparison between you and the hologram."  
  
"That's a relief."   
  
"In many ways your hologram helped me embrace my humanity by accepting the fact that perfection is irrelevant. Our faults and insecurities are what makes us individuals."   
  
"Sounds like a wise man. It also sounds like you did an awesome job in programming my hologram. Did you sleep with him?"  
  
Surprised by Chakotay's question, Seven ignores the comment and continues.   
  
"My intention at the time was to experience intimacy in all its form, however, due to unforeseen circumstances, I did not. When I attempted to experience romantic feelings a Borg fail-safe device neutralized my cortical node and sent me into neural shock. It was later discovered this device remained dormant until a certain amount of emotional stimulus was endured. After several tests the Doctor informed me of several operations to correct the circuitry, but I declined and abandoned any more attempts at regaining my humanity."  
  
Tears start to form in Seven's eyes as she turns away from Chakotay. In response to her reaction, he takes her hand in his.   
  
"I'm so sorry Seven. You must have been going through hell. I wish you had told someone about this, we could have helped you. I could have helped you."  
  
Seven turns back to face Chakotay and smiles wearily.   
  
"Several months later when we started dating, I began to develop romantic feelings and didn't want to disappoint you so I reconsidered the Doctor's offer to remove the fail-safe device."  
  
"You did this for me?"  
  
"Yes."   
  
"Why didn't you tell me? You didn't have to go through this alone. You took an enormous risk in putting yourself through this procedure. Why did you do it?"   
  
"Because I didn't want you seeing me as being less than human with emotional limitations. Now that I'm able to experience all emotions, as a side effect I'm suffering from repressed memories of my assimilation. I may no longer part of the Hive Mind, but I'll always be Borg. I'm sorry Chakotay. I've failed you and I've failed at humanity."  
  
Chakotay places his hand along her jaw line and strokes her cheek.   
  
"How can you say that? What you did for me...for us...was the most giving act of love. Humanity is not just about one's experiences; it's a state of being. Its how others perceive you to be and right now my perception of you is that the woman sitting before me is 100% human.   
  
"From what the Doctor says, these flashbacks of yours are part of a long-term healing process. He's right; you can't ignore your memories, no matter how painful they are. We'll face them together."   
  
(Voice cracking) "My courage is insufficient. I don't think I can tolerate them much longer."   
  
Chakotay wraps his arms around the former drone and embraces her dearly.   
  
"You're not alone Seven and I'm not going anywhere, I'm staying right here with you."  
  
"Thank you. I never meant to keep anything from you."   
  
Chakotay acknowledges his mate by placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Seven reciprocates by returning his kiss with more conviction. He breaks the seal of their lips leaving his mate longing for more.   
  
"So, tell me, how far did you and this hologram go?"   
(Smirking) "It might be more efficient if I showed you."  
  
"I can't wait."   
  
***  
  
Several hours later Chakotay and Seven lay in a spooning position after a night of passion. However, unwanted images return to the ex-drone.   
  
"A-n-n-i-k-a!"..."A-n-n-i-k-a!" The screams of a familiar masculine voice return.   
  
"R-u-n...A-n-n-i-k-a...R-u-n!" Another voice reminiscent of her mother's joins in.   
  
The small, petrified girl is forcefully pulled along by a female through numerous halls resembling a maze. She's tugged at each turn and almost loses her footing. The taller woman yells in despair as the big men capture her husband. Witnessing his demise the younger girl is swept up into the woman's arms and is taken to an adjacent corridor. Shots are fired and the taller woman looses her footing causing them both to fall. The small child is shoved into a small space below a console while watching in horror as the big men drag away her mother.   
  
"R-u-n...A-n-n-i-k-a...R-u-n!" The sound of her mother's voice lingers.   
  
***  
  
"Seven...wake up!" Chakotay shakes his beloved.   
  
Tossing and turning Seven frightfully regains consciousness.   
  
"It's okay...I'm here. You were having a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"   
  
"No!" The former drone barks back.   
  
"Seven, you have to talk about it. What do you remember?"  
  
"Nothing."   
  
"Yes you do. You were crying out to your mother. Seven...talk to me!"  
  
"Please...I can't...don't make me talk about it."   
  
Chakotay reaches over and turns Seven to face him. To his surprise her hair and body is drenched with perspiration.  
  
"My God, look at you. You're terrified. Listen Seven, I'm not letting you out of my sight until you talk to me so you might as well start now."   
  
With her eyes filling with tears, Seven reluctantly shares the gruesome details of her family's violent abduction by the cybernetic beings and transformation into becoming Borg drones. Chakotay painfully listens as years of anguish pour out of his beloved's core. The thought of a young and innocent girl observing the demise of her parents overwhelms the Commander to the point he could no longer control his own emotions and tears begin to trail down his face.   
  
After hours of recollection, both lay there in each other's arms drained of all energy but invigorated with a new sense of purpose...to be one...to be together.  
  
Chakotay retrieves a wet cloth, returns to bed and begins the task of dabbing beads of sweat on his beloved.   
  
"Now that wasn't so bad." Says a smiling Chakotay.   
  
If looks could kill, there would be an assimilation in the sheets.  
  
"That's easy for you to say."   
  
"No it's not. I had no idea what you've been through. You're the bravest woman I've ever met."   
  
"My courage is insufficient, how could you say that?"  
  
"Because I love you."   
  
"Perhaps I should have the Doctor reverse the circuitry."   
  
Sitting up, Chakotay's demeanor changes.   
  
"You can't be serious."   
  
Sitting up, Seven strokes her lover's face with her cybernetic hand.   
  
"I'm not...It's just these emotions are worse than the Borg."   
  
Realizing that Seven is only joking, Chakotay breaks out into laughter. After a brief pause, a tender moment is shared.   
  
"Why would I want to stop loving the man who helped bring Annika home."   
  
Propping himself up on his arm with surprise.   
  
"You mean that?"  
  
"Yes"   
  
"I don't think I've ever heard you use your real name before. It's lovely."   
  
"Thank you. I've never known what it was like to be her until now. I remember being Annika and I remember her pain. I know it'll never go away, but I think I'll be able to live with it as long as we're together."   
  
"That's one thing you can count on."   
  
Seven smiles then tenderly covers his lips with her own as they fall back into the sheets of the bed. Caressing each other's bodies and smothering one another with kisses both feel a fresh prospective of their lives as their lovemaking takes on a new level of intimacy.   
  
Several hours later with Chakotay sound asleep; Seven vacates the bed, puts on a t-shirt and enters the living area where she seats herself at a computer. Thirty minutes later, Chakotay joins her with a cup of coffee in hand. He approaches his mate who seems pre-occupied by the pertinent information on his terminal. He greets her with a kiss then seats himself beside her.   
  
"Another nightmare?"  
  
(Smiling) "No...not this time. I want you to meet someone."   
  
"Who?"  
  
"My parents."   
  
Seven turns the screen to face her beloved.  
  
Chakotay smiles and takes her hand in his.   
  
"I can't wait to meet them."   
*  
*  
*  
The End? 


End file.
